March 2018 – It’s all in the mind

The beginning of this month saw me navigating the slopes around Tignes in minus 20°C without a) hurting myself and b) killing myself. It was my first attempt at skiing since I was a small child and the 25-year gap between outings did nothing for my ability or confidence. As the days passed my skills sharpened up and falls became blessedly less frequent.  I found when I didn’t worry so much then my skiing became more relaxed and therefor more enjoyable. Overthinking is a knack of mine so this was a tricky task, I bit like mastering rising trot when I was learning to ride. The trick is to realise when you’re doing well then immediately think about anything else! And I did manage to let go and enjoy myself, although on one memorable occasion I thought I was on a blue piste and skiing happily along until I realised, somewhat belatedly, it was actually a red piste. I’m not sure how long I was unintentionally on this route but as soon as I realised my skiing became a lot poorer. The feeling of confidence is really all in the mind. But however well I ended each day, I still started the first piste of the next day with mild panic coursing through my veins and legs with the consistency (and strength) of jelly.

Not unlike those feelings when I approach something at work I’ve never done before. This similarity struck me the first week back at work after my holiday when I was booked a ‘GA and remove lump’. Nothing too arduous I think to myself, rather naively, and then I check the animal’s details and note the species of the patient: a rat. Ha. It’s a busy day, a lot is going on and I don’t want to ask for help unless I really need it. Examining my patient, it’s more like a rat attached to the lump – this is not what I was hoping for, my surgical skills seem lacking. So, was this going to be uncontrolled sliding down the icy slope of fear or time for a deep breath and doing the job in front of me without thinking of all the things that could go wrong?

For me, being a new grad vet is walking a fine line between fear and confidence, between wanting to make sure I do the right thing and actually going ahead a doing something. I think a lot of us new grads fall somewhere along the gradient. No one wants to be stuck at the top of the slope paralysed by fear, but equally we don’t want to bite of more than we can chew and end up in a mangled heap on the way down. The trick is finding the mindset that gives the right amount of confidence balanced by common sense which allows you to navigate the pistes of veterinary medicine. This for me is still a matter of trial and error, but the balance is always there when I relax and take a breath.
Happy Easter everyone!

Tignes, 2018