June 2018 - No longer a New Grad?!
Welcome everyone, to my last ever BEVA blog! This is my 12th entry and I guess I can no longer be counted as a new grad and thus, my new grad journey has ended. It feels like I graduated just yesterday and not a year ago, time truly does fly when you are having fun (and flapping around like a headless chicken). I know you may be thinking this is all rather cheesy but it’s hard not to be happy doing a job you’ve wanted to do since you were 6 years old. And even on my worst stressful, hectic, bewildering days; I still count myself lucky to be able to do this job and marvel at the fact I’m a vet at all.
Well… that was the opening paragraph of this last blog post up until earlier this week when I just had the worst day. Several cases went wrong all together, I missed things, my client communication was poor and to top it off I went out to a collapsed dog which ended in euthanasia and very very upset owner. Dragging myself home after the 13hr day I was close to tears and not feeling the love for my chosen profession. Waking up the following morning and after a good gym session I felt more on an even keel. Speaking to a more experienced colleague, they offered me the rather bleak assurance that there will always be a case that will knock your confidence and take you by surprise. I wonder if vets with more years under their belt start questioning their every decision when this happens or if a resilience develops against these feelings of inadequacy.
So, in order to pick myself up a bit I’ve been trying to think back on what I have achieved in my first year in practice. I have survived my first day, week and month. I managed my first day of sole charge and my first week on call. I’ve gone to my first colic, resuscitated a collapsed patient for the first time and felt the rewarding feeling of following a case through to a successful end. And as I finished another good day my gloomy feelings from earlier in the week started to fade. I wonder if any other job outside the medical fields offer such a rollercoaster of emotions. It does make me appreciate the need to switch off entirely, compassion fatigue is a real thing and it’s scary when the whiff of apathy starts affecting my decision making. In fact, it’s terrifying to think I am not doing 100% all the time but that sort of commitment and work ethic is hard to maintain for more than a few months at a time, or at least it is for me right now. Hopefully as I get better it will be less effort and I will slip less often into the twilight of inertia.
To any ‘new’ new grads reading this: I wouldn’t change anything. Not every day is peachy, and you WILL make mistakes. Horrible mistakes, you’ll want to drown yourself in the staff toilet some days. But you will pick yourself up, learn from them and become a better vet in the process. The great (and sometimes exhausting) thing about this career is that you never stop learning, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade out; there is always something new to learn. And as a new vet you shouldn’t be shy of asking for help and learning how to be better.
Welcome to the veterinary profession Class of 2018!
Well… that was the opening paragraph of this last blog post up until earlier this week when I just had the worst day. Several cases went wrong all together, I missed things, my client communication was poor and to top it off I went out to a collapsed dog which ended in euthanasia and very very upset owner. Dragging myself home after the 13hr day I was close to tears and not feeling the love for my chosen profession. Waking up the following morning and after a good gym session I felt more on an even keel. Speaking to a more experienced colleague, they offered me the rather bleak assurance that there will always be a case that will knock your confidence and take you by surprise. I wonder if vets with more years under their belt start questioning their every decision when this happens or if a resilience develops against these feelings of inadequacy.
So, in order to pick myself up a bit I’ve been trying to think back on what I have achieved in my first year in practice. I have survived my first day, week and month. I managed my first day of sole charge and my first week on call. I’ve gone to my first colic, resuscitated a collapsed patient for the first time and felt the rewarding feeling of following a case through to a successful end. And as I finished another good day my gloomy feelings from earlier in the week started to fade. I wonder if any other job outside the medical fields offer such a rollercoaster of emotions. It does make me appreciate the need to switch off entirely, compassion fatigue is a real thing and it’s scary when the whiff of apathy starts affecting my decision making. In fact, it’s terrifying to think I am not doing 100% all the time but that sort of commitment and work ethic is hard to maintain for more than a few months at a time, or at least it is for me right now. Hopefully as I get better it will be less effort and I will slip less often into the twilight of inertia.
To any ‘new’ new grads reading this: I wouldn’t change anything. Not every day is peachy, and you WILL make mistakes. Horrible mistakes, you’ll want to drown yourself in the staff toilet some days. But you will pick yourself up, learn from them and become a better vet in the process. The great (and sometimes exhausting) thing about this career is that you never stop learning, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade out; there is always something new to learn. And as a new vet you shouldn’t be shy of asking for help and learning how to be better.
Welcome to the veterinary profession Class of 2018!
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